i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
