I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
