nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
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