so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
