P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
