Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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