Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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