right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
