btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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