we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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