There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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