and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
