I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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