I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize