He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
