I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
a search helicopter?!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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