btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
