This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
