I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
