Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
420 ftw
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
