i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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