i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
