If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
