Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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