Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
