U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
