My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
