remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
