Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
