Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
