I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
