So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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