I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
