John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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