He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
