That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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