It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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