Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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