Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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