Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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