i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
