Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
