I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
