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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't see you I see the memories. All the time

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.

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• (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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• (914): View more from New York

  We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.

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• (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud

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• (418): View more from Quebec

  Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar

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