so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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