this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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