quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
