lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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