he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
