Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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